The Distortion of Self
The Mask
I look fine, but I’m screaming on the inside." You are successful, reliable, and capable, yet you live with a constant fear of being 'found out' as a fraud.
The Disconnect
I don't know who I am when I'm not working." You’ve become so good at reading other people’s needs that you’ve lost the ability to feel your own.
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The Body Score
Tired in a way sleep doesn't fix." Your body is signaling safety is missing—tight chest, buzzing anxiety, or a sudden need to numb out
The Eggshells
I feel responsible for everyone's happiness." You over-give, over-explain, and default to 'fawning' to keep the peace
It Wasn't a Choice. It Was a Strategy
When we experience trauma, neglect, or a lack of emotional safety in childhood, we don't just "get over it." We adapt.
As a child, you may have had to silence your needs to be "easy." You might have become the "little adult" to stabilise a chaotic home. You learned that being You wasn't safe, so you constructed a version of yourself that was.
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This is the Distortion of Self.
That adaptation was brilliant. It saved you. But the strategy that kept you safe as a child is the same one that is suffocating you as an adult. The anxiety, the perfectionism, the inability to rest—these aren't flaws. They are outdated survival mechanisms running on a loop.
Moving From Adaptation to Authenticity
Recovery isn't about fixing you, because you aren't broken. It’s about retrieving the person you were before the world told you who you had to be.
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In our work together, we move beyond "symptom management." We look at the root of the distortion. We gently dismantle the adaptations that no longer serve you, making room for your authentic self to finally breathe.
Areas of Specialist Focus
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Developmental Trauma & Emotional Neglect: When the trauma wasn't what happened, but what didn't happen (the absence of safety).
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Complex PTSD (CPTSD): Managing emotional flashbacks and the relentless "inner critic."
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The "Fawn" Response: People-pleasing, loss of boundaries, and "merging" with others to feel safe.
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Somatic Symptoms: Unexplained pain, fatigue, and nervous system dysregulation (the body keeping the score)
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Toxic Shame: The deep-seated belief that you are fundamentally flawed, not just that you made a mistake.