Updated: Nov 7
I wanted to touch on a subject that resonates with many - (including me) Avoidance.
We all have instances when we just want to retreat and disconnect from the real world, but for some of us, this is an everyday ordeal. In this blog post, we'll examine some of the hurdles that being avoidant creates and provide some ideas to help manage and minimise how debilitating this can be.
The Invisible Wall of Isolation
Imagine feeling like you're behind a glass wall, watching life pass by. Highly avoidant people often experience a deep sense of isolation. Social situations can be overwhelming, leading to a retreat into a comfortable, albeit lonely, cocoon.
The Unending Loop of Anxiety
Anxiety becomes a frequent companion. Everyday activities that seem effortless to others, like making a phone call or attending a meeting, can trigger a whirlwind of nerves and fear. It's like being stuck on a never-ending rollercoaster ride.
Avoiding the Unavoidable
Ever found yourself dodging a task until the last possible moment? For avoidant individuals, this is a common struggle. Simple tasks can feel like climbing a mountain, creating a feeling of being stuck and unproductive.
Relationships in Limbo
Nurturing relationships can be challenging. Avoidance can be misunderstood as disinterest, causing strain in friendships, family ties, and romantic relationships. It's a heartache that can leave a lasting impact.
The Weight of Unfulfilled Potential
Many of us with an avoidant mind set, can also have extraordinary abilities and ambitions. Avoidance can potentially dampen all these skills due to the dread of exposure and the inherent vulnerability. Some of us are blessed with innate, sincere talents and perceptions that stay veiled from the world, causing a significant loss of a profound aspect of our selves. This segment of our identity experiences genuine satisfaction when it coincides with our authentic truth."
Empowering Change: what can we do?
Gentle Self-Reflection and Acceptance
Start by becoming aware and acknowledging the avoidant tendencies with kindness. Remember, it's okay to feel this way. Self-awareness is the first step towards growth.
Pinpoint Your Triggers
Identify the situations or tasks that tend to set off your avoidance. Knowing your triggers allows you to prepare and approach them with a newfound confidence. Most of us run (avoid) when a trigger has been set. Sitting with both the trigger and its impact can help to accept the feelings and gradually dilute the overwhelming compulsion to avoid.
Small Steps, Big Triumphs.
Take it one step at a time. Begin with small, manageable challenges and gradually build your way up. Celebrate every victory, no matter how tiny.
Practice mindfulness to ground yourself in the present moment. Mindfulness is a key component in managing a distressing or overwhelming trigger. We must become experts in being mindful to create the space in our minds that will allow us to engage rather than avoid.
Lean on Your Support System
Reach out to trusted friends or family members. Sharing your journey with someone you trust can provide invaluable encouragement and understanding.
Treat yourself like you would a really good friend. Be gentle, be patient, and remember that progress takes time.